Its Not what It is !

Its not that i cant speak without you
Its just that i can talk only with you

Its not that i cant live without you
Its just that i wish to leave if its not with you

Its not that i don't understand the answer to why
Its just that i wish you had reasons for "i"

Its not that i am unhappy to let you go
Its just that i am sad for me to hold on

Its not that i have tears rolling down from my eyes
Its just that i know tears roll in when you look high

Its not that i look for you around
Its just that i know you are the only one for me to surround

Its not that i am remembering you
Its just that i am wondering what is still remembered by you

Its not that i want to raise my hand towards you
Its just that i don't want that craze for touch go away from you

Its not that i don't enjoy even if its a joke to blast
Its just that i have a grin that i borrowed from our past

Its not that i am not here
Its just that i can only be at one place at a moment and thats there

Its not I
Its just that its Mine

Enter an Exit

I enter an exit

I feel some emotion thats so mixed

I longed for longing hours to last

And when they last i realize its indeed the last

I am at the edge of old and new

I am at the edge of dry and dew

I am at the edge of no and yes

I am at the edge of despair and fair

I am at the edge of unknown and acknowledged

I am at the edge of leaving days gone by and living new days near by

I don’t know if i am nervous

I don’t know if i am curious

I have been talking to world in thoughts

I want to be with my thoughts to show how it works

I want to look back to see who  looked forward to me

I want to move back to see who walked besides me

I want to prove it now that earlier also it was just me

I had a pillow earlier also by my bedside

But there was hardly netime when i saw it dry

Its still wet but the warmth now is unmet

It still gazes me but now it more amazes me

I had a body earlier that seemed broken

I have same body now that still seems broken

My legs are moving separate and running ahead to reach unimagined destination

My head is highing separate and looking forward to see unimagined creation

I am in rush now

I am at peace now

I am too strong now

I am more weak now

I am quite big now

I feel way too small now

I know i would make it one day

Have i already seen that day

Am i looking forward or dreaming under

I am insecure as i am getting more secure

I am unhappy as i m getting reason to b happy

I am being myself or heading to define I

I want to live this day

I want to kill that lived all this way

I exit the longing days

I enter my last day

Know a No

If i knew I could speak I would have sung
If I knew I could live I would have died forever
I want to move a little step just to see that the round earth has made me move crore steps behind
I want to kneel down just to see that underneath lies all the love I want to find
Why a wet pool is required for that chill swim
Why terrible tears are required for that one grin
What is it that I seek
What is it that I call peace
What is it that is just for me
What is it that I always need
What is it that is taking away me from me
Why world is just a place now
Why friend is just a mate now
Why luck is just so unfair now
Why love is just a word now
I know I can fly without wings
I know I can stay without few things
I know I can sing without strings
I know now I can survive without any feelings
It seems "To whom it may concern" is concerned to me only
It seems all "Do not Disturb" tags are note to me only
Companion is a thing now and not a being
Worth is by work now and not by birth
Life is an illusion now and not any engine
I am seeking fusion now and not confusion
Would you listen to me if I remain silent
Would you smile with me if I start to cry
Would you stay along if I want to be alone
Would you live my life if I decide to die.

In Middle of a Corner

Chords do break
Strengths do fail
The air which was chilling earlier
seems to be too cold now.
What that boiled earlier
seems like bouncing drop in air now.
I wanted to gather stones earlier
but they were for home that makes me happier.
I want to gather stones now too
but they are to raise me from ground to dome.
Its not that I am changed
Its just that I am created now to gain.
I moved I ran to chase them
I wished they turned around to look at me
I wished they smiled at me cared for me
I wished that I never had those wishes.
But today, I want to wish more want
I move I run today also
I chase them today also
I aspire and respire for them to turn around
For them to know that now I don't surround.
I am at heights now
I am over the stones now 
Its lonely at that height
Its aching with those stones
but I still respire for my chase
To see that awe which i never attained.
Living a story has been easy
Now zeal to create a story keeps me busy
I have been driving life but not being driver
I have been giving best but never got better.
Talked enough about Why till now
But today Why Not is better i know.
There is entry to new things from every exit door
It leaves something behind but welcomes a lot more.
Every chord breaks for new to come
Every strength weakens to strengthen in return.

Emotion is motion !

There are crores of emotions which we might feel but would never acknowledge them. We just know the two broad categories- Happy and Sad. If we value the happiness so much, why dont we value sadness equally. After all its also just another type of emotion. Why our sorrows are always well defined and on top of mind but when we need to think about our happiness, we kind of consider them the obvious to be present in life or else if at all we identify them, we portray as if we are carrying a bigtime positive attitude and we are fighting the sorrows (boils down to sorrow again !). 

Emotional and practical reasons cannot get separate in life. They say we cannot be emotional about few things and that we gotto be practical for few things. But how are they segregated. Few things that constitute life- Family, Friends, Profession, Health. How do we separate each one of them in emotional or practical category. Profession cannot be practical only else we wont try to get best paying and best working environment kinda job. Its an emotional asset. We cannot take family and friends for granted considering thats emotional aspect and does not practically require any action or reaction. Health has to be practically taken so that it remain emotionally strong in long run. When everything is so confusing then how do we identify that for what we can be sad and for what we can be happy. 

There is no priority list for that matter. I would be sad if either of things is not in its place but i would be happy only if all of these things would remain in place. To avoid such confusions of emotions, it is more sense to cherish every emotion. There would not be a moment for same happiness again and there would not be same moment of sadness again which would allow me to mould myself again. We get happiness only if we fight against our sadness. Happiness is deserved only if sadness was taken positively. And Sadness is deserved because its you only who carries the courage and strength to fight over it. So just live emotions !

This That and All

Everyone is doing good in world besides me. I own the saddest possible life on this planet. While I drive, even the lane i take moves slowest. Water I drink is not chilled. air I breathe is not clean. And imagine the smile i give is not from heart.

Who hasn't thought on these lines ever or rather who hasn't thought one of these or something like this once in a day. I wish everyone in world was sad...I wish my lane on road moves fastest...I wish water i drink is straight from Bisleri everytime...I wish air I breathe is from million filterations before i inhale...I wish i always had "natural smile" on my face. If all this happened then surely i would be "Happy Happy" and not "Happy Sad" or "Sad Sad".

Time would always move slow when i would have time to see the time. Time would fly when i dont have time even to own a piece to see time. More we think about ourselves more we know that there is so much attached to us and more we find things more complicated gets the space and complications are something to which we tend to always comply. No wonder it is said that Ignorance is a Bliss. Ignore yourself. Ignore things attached to you. Ignore the complications. The gain is just the empty space. Leave the space always empty so that things can enter there but when they find themselves alone there, they fly. But then good things would also fly. They need to enter and go too because they would be the one to leave behind the tag of happy space.

Hakunamatata- worry for nothing. Indeed, smile at jerks like they gave you some fun ride. Jerks would get bored of hitting you and would find new target for themselves.